As summer arrives and romance moves outdoors, a new term is entering the dating conversation: the ‘Non-Driving Dealbreaker’. Dating dealbreakers are nothing new, they’re debated endlessly on social media, shared in viral threads, and dissected in group chats up and down the country.
New research from Autotrader, the UK’s largest automotive marketplace, reveals that not being able to drive is one of modern dating’s most significant turn-offs, with drivers now factoring it into how attractive they find a potential partner.
The study, which surveyed 1,000 drivers across the UK, finds that 38% of drivers admit they’re put off by a potential partner not driving, while more than half (55%) say driving ability plays some role in their assessment of a partner’s appeal.
To understand the psychology behind the trend, Autotrader has partnered with relationship and sex therapist Georgina Vass for expert insight into why not having a licence could be hampering Brits’ chances for future romance.
It is younger drivers, not older ones, who hold the strongest views when it comes to the ‘Non-Driving Dealbreaker’. Nearly three-quarters (72%) of 18–24-year-olds say a non-driving partner is less appealing. It’s a striking finding at a time when the average cost of a driving lesson has risen 61% in six years from £23 to £37 per hour1 putting licences increasingly out of reach for many young people navigating the cost-of-living crisis.
Women also feel more strongly on the issue than men. 43% of female drivers say a partner who can’t drive is less attractive, compared to 34% of male drivers.
Georgina Vass, relationship and sex therapist, explained: “Human brains are predicting machines that try to accomplish goals efficiently, and so having this information may act as a shortcut for someone.
“We are wired to quickly assess whether a new person is safe or dangerous, with first impressions generally being more intuitive than logical.
“So, whether it’s the type of phone someone uses or a person’s driving status, it gives a potential mate something to interpret during those initial assessments. In contrast, people in established relationships have a lot more data about their partner.”
According to the data, 25 is the age at which patience begins to run out. Drivers broadly agree that a partner who still hasn’t passed their test by their mid-twenties starts to lose their appeal.
Vass, offering some perspective on where the deadline comes from, said: “There used to be this idea that by 25, the brain was fully developed, but more recent studies show that the brain has various significant periods of development and after one that occurs at nine years old, the next one actually occurs around 32 years old.
“It’s possible that 25 has become an arbitrary deadline based on this previous info. It is also an age at which most people would be expected to have completed any further education and be in paid employment, creating a sense that it is around that age that people become ‘self-sufficient’.”
The cities where not driving matters most:
| Rank | City | % who say it matters | Mean dealbreaker age |
| 1 | London | 42.0% | 24.1 |
| 2 | Birmingham | 40.6% | 25.1 |
| 3 | Belfast | 39.5% | 23.2 |
| 4 | Plymouth | 37.9% | 23.7 |
| 5 | Sheffield | 37.5% | 26.9 |
| 6 | Newcastle | 36.7% | 27.4 |
| 7 | Cardiff | 35.9% | 26.9 |
| 8 | Southampton | 32.5% | 26.9 |
| 9 | Bristol | 31.6% | 25.8 |
| 9= | Glasgow | 31.6% | 23.4 |
| 11 | Leeds | 30.8% | 23.4 |
| 12 | Manchester | 29.5% | 27.3 |
| 13 | Brighton | 29.0% | 25.8 |
| 14 | Liverpool | 28.9% | 24.1 |
| 15 | Edinburgh | 26.3% | 27.4 |
| 15= | Norwich | 26.3% | 27.3 |
| 17 | Nottingham | 22.1% | 27.3 |
London sets the most unforgiving standard, with drivers in the Capital being the ones who care the most about their partner not driving (42% say not driving makes their partner less attractive), and expecting them to be on the road by the age of 24. But it’s those in Belfast who expect their partner to be behind the wheel the earliest, a few months after their 23rd birthday.
At the other end of the scale, drivers in Newcastle and Edinburgh are considerably more relaxed, willing to wait until a partner is 27 before it becomes a concern.
Tom Roberts, car selling expert at Autotrader, said: “Driving has become part of how we size up a potential partner, for millions of people in the UK, since it’s completely woven into the fabric of daily life.
“Picking up the kids, heading on a road trip, not having to negotiate who’s getting the last train home, eventually selling your car for something bigger when life moves on, these are the practical realities of being in a relationship, and driving makes all of it easier.”
