Family now calling for faster support after “life-changing” breakthrough
A SWANSEA family have spoken out after years of struggle to secure a diagnosis for their son, saying delays in support left them at “crisis point”.
The couple say life has been transformed since their nine-year-old son—referred to as Luke—was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD and autism, but are now urging better access to early help for other families facing similar challenges.
Luke’s parents, Tobias and Marc, adopted him as a toddler and say they began noticing differences in his behaviour from an early age. However, they were repeatedly told these were likely linked to attachment issues or early-life trauma.
At school, Luke appeared to cope well. But at home, the picture was very different.
Hidden struggles at home
His parents say Luke was “masking” during the school day—hiding his difficulties and working hard to fit in—only for the emotional toll to surface once he got home.
“By the end of the school day Luke was incredibly overwhelmed,” Tobias said. “He could hold everything together at school, but the moment he got in the car the pressure came out all at once.”
What began as occasional meltdowns became more frequent and intense, placing increasing strain on family life.
“We tried so many different strategies… but nothing made a difference,” his parents said. “Without a diagnosis, nobody could offer us practical help.”
The family were placed on an NHS waiting list, but say the three-year delay proved too long to cope with.
“We weren’t sleeping, and it became an unsafe environment for us to live in. We just didn’t know which way to turn.”
Private diagnosis brings answers
After reaching breaking point, the family sought a private assessment through Neuropathways, part of Health is One.
Within two weeks, Luke received a full diagnosis.
“It was a huge relief,” his father said. “For the first time we had an explanation.”
Crucially, support followed immediately after diagnosis. A psychologist arranged a multi-agency meeting with Luke’s school to ensure a shared understanding of his needs.
Emma Davies, Director at Neuropathways, said cases like Luke’s are not uncommon.
“Masking meant Luke’s school saw a very capable and compliant child, while at home his parents were dealing with the impact of him holding everything in all day,” she said.
Simple changes, big impact
A “Transition Home Strategy” was introduced, including decompression time after school, consistent routines, sensory tools and flexible pick-up arrangements.
Luke’s parents described the changes as “simple but incredibly effective”.
“It helped him come home in a calmer state… we started to see a much happier version of Luke.”
Since then, family life has improved dramatically. They say their most recent Christmas was “the calmest and most enjoyable we’ve ever had”.
Luke is also thriving more at school, with improved concentration, confidence and communication.
“He’s incredibly imaginative,” his dad said. “He wants to design instructions for Lego when he’s older. He can finally think about the future.”
Call for better support
The family are now speaking out to raise awareness of the challenges faced by others navigating long waiting lists and unclear support pathways.
They have even written a children’s book, The Boy in the Invisible Mask, to help other families recognise the signs of masking.
“We don’t want any other family to feel alone or unheard,” they said. “A diagnosis isn’t the end—it’s the start of understanding what a child needs.”
For Luke’s family, the difference has been profound.
“We’ve gone from surviving to actually living,” his dad said. “That’s all any family wants.”
